I think you can help guide things in your favor by establishing this as something you’re interested in pursuing with her: present it as an adventure you go on together, a chance for a different kind of intimacy between the two of you. A compassionate partner won’t view you differently after revealing that you’re into experimenting with butt stuff. You have to weigh whether your desire is enough to warrant the risk of being turned down. Understanding the culture of rape in all of its vastness is a direct challenge on cultural complicity.Īnd you won’t know how she will react or whether she is willing to try it unless you bring it up and ask her about it. The whole point, after all, is to refute the tradition of misogyny that has long endured without serious challenge. I think as a corrective to this interpretation, a lot of people have come to use the word “rape” in nontraditional contexts. I think part of this, too, is that patriarchy remains so dominant in the organization of our culture that a lot of wrongdoing by men has long been taken for granted. Part of this, I think, must derive from a survival instinct-one way to resist feeling broken down by something is to frame it as incapable of breaking you down at all. It wasn ’ t that bad, not compared to how horrific it could have been, they say.

Some survivors of sexual assault/exploitation will minimize their experience by comparing it to more extreme abuse that others have endured.

How should I respond to my friends? How should I classify what happened? I just want to know what the appropriate terminology is, correct those two friends if necessary, then re-bury this vat of toxic waste memories.

Masseuse plays with dick